School is out!

Well, the picnics were a blast. No pictures, since my camera from Christmas has never been found; but I rectified that last night by upgrading my phone. the new one has an 8MP camera in it. So as long as I have my phone, I'll have my camera. Yay!

Hunter's picnic was at the school. We took his cousin X over with us and they had tons of fun. Pony rides and digging a toad out of the sandbox, lol; plus a whole bunch of goodies and snacks. Andy's picnic was at the side-by-side homes of two of his classmates. It was also a sort of birthday party for one of their sons, and they rented a waterslide that really took the cake, lol. And Hunter dug a whole toad family - mom, dad, and baby - out of their sandbox. I guess toads really like sand. Andy took a fall from the playset that freaked me out pretty bad, because by the time I realized one of the parents was calling for me and got over there, his lips were blue. They said he had hurt his back. Turns out what happened is he landed flat on his back really hard and it knocked all his breath out. He was alright after a while, but it took a good 20 minutes or more for his color to come back. In the end, though, it didn't dampen his day a bit.

Do I feel like talking about the job/money situation? Ugh. Probably not. But after the latest colossal failure of Mark's and Lance's plans, he offered Mark a paid-every-Friday job working by the day. It is a fairly generous amount considering the economy, and I am all for Mark taking it. He doesn't like the sound of the number he would make every week as opposed to the big numbers he keeps going for with these jobs. I am getting really frustrated that he can't understand he would be making more in the end. Because those big numbers NEVER come through. Never have, never will. How long does it take to figure that out? I'm not letting it go this time. I deserve some stability. And I decided months ago that a regular paycheck is one of the things I need in order to keep us together. I can't make bricks without straw any longer.

So, I get to figure out what to do with the boys out of school, and we need to get a wading pool next. It will cut down tremendously on the baths! And I'll keep the DS locked up for certain times, hehe. I think we are going to pick strawberries next week, if the weather is good.   

Safari Day!

The boys' school year wraps up this week. They always do an animal safari, and today I got to see it twice. Perks of having one child in each class, lol. I was really bummed that I forgot my phone and couldn't take photos, but that isn't the most important part anyway.

They brought several small exotic animals, like a chinchilla (I miss mine!), an albino skunk, a Patagonian Cavi (looks like a wallaby but is a rodent), a few small reptiles, an impressive large lizard, a baby alligator, a large tortoise, a few standard petting animals, and of course, the small python for the kids to put around their necks and have a photo taken if they wanted. Then they took out the big python. 11 feet long, actually. The secondary teacher does not like snakes, so I was asked to help hold him. :D I had no idea he would be so heavy. My wrists hurt for about half an hour afterwards and I had to ask her to adjust him once before I dropped his back end. He must have weighed close to 80 lbs. It was a very unique experience. Both boys loved the show. Andy didn't want the snake around his neck, though. Neither did I. I will touch and hold all sorts of animals, but that doesn't mean I'll cuddle them!

My little brother just came in and told me something so hilarious I have to share it. Andy was helping him and my Mom in the garden, and he has taken to calling the new baby "Caroline" (which I told him was the name I like for a girl) even though we aren't sure of the gender yet. So apparently he was making plans for his "new sister," and my brother asked how he could be so sure it was a girl. He said that Andy replied emphatically, "Because if my mom has ANOTHER boy, there is something very wrong with her tummy!!" Hahahahaha!

The situation with Mark's birthday is working out okay. I told him I was upset, and he said not to worry, he had invited her over to our house for dinner instead. ?! I said no, not that night. The end result is that his family is all invited over the following evening for dinner, and my mom is watching the boys on his birthday evening so we can have some time to ourselves. I guess all I have to do is communicate. One of these days I will learn how to do it without flipping out first.

For the rest of the day, we are making monster cookies for the school picnic. Yum!

Enjoying spring! And today is halfway :D

Ahh, it's so good to have a springtime. Several years in a row now the temperature has gone from about 60 degrees in early April to about 85 degrees in late April. This year, the weather has been in the 70's for about a month now, and I am so happy!

Today marks 20 weeks of pregnancy. I am supposed to find out on the 31st if it's a boy or girl! I'm going to take my grandmother with me. Since I can't take the boys, it will be less stress on Mom, get my grandmom out for some sightseeing, and might be her only chance to see an ultrasound, which she would love. I'm looking forward to it. The baby has been very active, and hopefully won't decide to sleep all through it and not give us a good look.

I read a line in the book "Clara's Story" this morning that was really good. It is the story of a Jewish girl in hiding during the Nazi regime. She commented about saying goodbye to a friend she feared she'd never see again, and assuring the friend they would meet again; not because she really believed it, but because she refused to let the Nazis take their hope on top of everything else. It made me feel better about letting myself hope. I'm so afraid to believe that anything is ever changing for the better. Lance is back to the same old same old; our finances are still in the pits; I just don't see any reason to hope at all. I guess that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to, though.

We have visited another church a couple of times and plan to keep visiting. There's a lot I want to say about it but I still don't have everything squared away in my mind. So that will wait for another post. May take a while. I don't ever plan to leave the church I am in right now, because I think they are very good, sincere people. But I know that Mark isn't finding what he needs there; the boys don't have what they need because they are the only children in the church so there isn't a junior Sunday School; and with the arrival of a few well-meaning but irritating new members who are bent on making us more "friendly," I am growing increasingly uncomfortable. I realize that the problem is with me, and not with them; but it's a problem nevertheless. I do not like to be touched. And being the youngest family there by far, and now pregnant, and with this new "hug everybody" attitude that has repelled me from so many other churches, I just don't feel at home any more. All the elderly people want to pet me and hug me and rest their hands on my shoulder while they talk to us, and it annoys me to no end. I feel like I'm becoming the church mascot.

So for a period of time, I want to look for a place that will provide more for Mark and the boys, and see how things go. Being with people who don't know my family at all is helpful too. Since my mom is so politically and religiously active, and since most homeschoolers around know at least one or two of my siblings, I constantly find it a problem to overcome people's pre-conceived notions about me without getting their disapproval. Anyone who knows my family assumes I am someone very different from who I really am, and church people don't like finding out they were wrong. I also don't feel entirely free to discuss my own religious views because I know it will get back to my family, and my mom will embark on a mission to keep me on her religious path. It's not a discussion I want to have with her until I have my own transportation, because I don't want her to stop letting me use the car to go to church and simply offer a ride to the church she approves of instead.

Yesterday I had a whole rant in my mind about my MIL again, but I just don't feel like getting into it all now. The short version is that she has always monopolized Mark's birthday in the past, and since we always lived with her or with her ex, I didn't feel it was worth fighting about. This year, it's getting me angry. He's in his 30s. He has a wife and kids. She has some nerve to expect to take him out to dinner with her on his birthday. He won't celebrate it with us, or let us observe it; but he won't say no to her, so she always gets her way with the plans she makes. And I'm done with this. I don't know what I will say, but I'm not putting up with it this year. And I want HIM to be the one who says no. We shall see. Even if we don't celebrate anything that day, he needs to spend it with us. For OUR sakes. She can take him out another time.

Another nephew!

Well, my SIL J. got a special Mother's Day present yesterday in the form of a little baby boy! Two down, three more to go, lol. The next one due is in mid-June. Talk about Year of the Grandkids hehe.
I had Andy's parent-teacher conference today. All the concerns were things I expected; his demand for constant attention, his penchant for interrupting, his controlling attitude when it's time to listen. But she surprised me by pointing out many of his skills as being well above his age group, which I didn't know; and said that his creativity is astounding and he is great at getting the other kids interested in things. Cool! I am very proud of him, if I do say so myself. :)

Blood test, Nintendo, and work

The test came back negative for Lyme's. Interesting. Now the doc is pressuring me to see an ear specialist for my tinnitis, in case they find something the blood test missed. ???
We replaced Andy's Wii with a DS. I have been opposed to it on the basis if his rte problems, but when I asked his ophthalmologist, he said the close-up activity would actually be better. Also that he would never recommend video games for therapy, of course. They didn't give Andy glasses; they want me to do the drops in his good eye again over the summer. The way he hunches over the thing, he will need to see a chiropractor too!
Mark went back to work for Lance today, maybe officially. This paving guy is a psycho. He keeps asking me what to do and I told him to choose the one that is less stressful for him. The paving job is close and reliable, but also very hot and backbreaking, and his boss demands he be there from nearly sunup to sundown. Every day that it's not raining heavily. We shall see!

New post on my other blog

I read an article in a parenting magazine that inspired a new post on my other blog.
http://becauseofoffenses.blogspot.com/2011/05/speaking-of-secrets.html

Bin Laden, doctor visits, and life in general

I find the idea of celebrating anyone's death repulsive. So he's dead. That's undoubtedly a good thing. Just like in the unnecessarily crude execution of Saddam Hussein, I am once again embarrassed by the high-handed, insolent bullying that seems to define our nation's dealings with the Muslims. And we wonder why they hate us.

Just saying.

Anyway, I had the ultrasound last week to measure the fibroid. It seems to have shrink; yay! Assuming that what I felt before was actually the fibroid. I can't think of any other explanation though. The baby was all over the place, heehee. All squirmy and feisty and "Stop poking me doc!" Too early to tell the gender yet.

Today I had blood drawn to test for Lyme's Disease. They can't treat it while I'm pregnant, but the testing itself is costly and I figured at least get that out of the way while I have insurance. If I do have it, I will probably get the prescriptions during the 60-day grace period after the birth, and then wait until I stop nursing to take them. I might have to cut the breastfeeding shorter than I would prefer, but I think six months is long enough to give the baby's immune system a good head start.

If it's not Lyme's, well, I really can't think of anything I'd rather have it be; none of the other scenarios are good or really treatable. The damage already done to my joints and nervous system can't be reversed with Lyme's, but the progress can be halted. Anything else will continue to be degenerative even with treatment. And since my mom and two siblings had it, that is the most likely cause. There's no history of rheumatoid arthritis or multiple sclerosis or any of those scary things in my family. Besides, I don't know much about MS but I'm pretty sure after 6+ years of degenerating problems I should be in a lot worse shape with that one.

Andy has been banned from the Wii for some time because of his dreadful temper and bad language. Taking it away really didn't seem to help, but Mark's promise to give it back last weekend if he watched his mouth all week did. Unfortunately, some low-life dirtball stole it out of the storage shed. The locked storage shed. Great. To his credit, he took it quite well; but mostly because Mark promised to get him a new one ASAP. Just one more expense we can't afford.

Mark started a job. It's going well as far as plenty of work, and close by, but the boss is a jerk. He will get his first paycheck this weekend - hopefully. If the guy doesn't turn out to be like the last one who also hired Mark for a two-week "trial period" and then never paid him. I don't think he will though. I think he's just a hyperactive, controlling ass. He claims to love Mark's work. He just doesn't like the way he shuts the truck door, holds the spreader, etc. Seriously?! Meanwhile, The Turd started a big project that he keeps offering Mark more and more money to come and work on. It could be a good thing, and would be a lot less stressful for Mark; but it also might not pay for long if the company doesn't keep up their end. And it's a much longer drive. He promises to do what he can to provide rides, but I know from a practical standpoint that his ability to do that is limited. It is really out of his way and his hours would be very different from Mark's.

In the meantime, I'm concentrating on keeping the house clean, getting enough rest, and eradicating weeds! Hehehe. Dandelions, beware!

Various

I took the boys to a small local fair yesterday. It was surprisingly good! Fairs around here rarely have any activities.to hold kids' attention, and this wasn't really an exception. But the singer.did "Old Man Take A Look At My Life", one of Andy's favorites; and there was a balloon maker there who did some really cool designs and held their attention for about 30 minutes. Then on the way out I saw a table with books about local haunted attractions. On impulse I decided to flip through and see if there was anything about a location where Mark had worked several years ago. He hated the place, and it is famous for spooky apparitions and disturbing events. I hit the jackpot and bought the book. I was surprised when I started reading it though.This author is the real deal, unlike some of the local folktales we have collected. She even takes the time to debunk some of the more ludicrous local tales, which I appreciate. I will have to get more of her books.